Because I could not stop for death....

I got knocked up instead...

Friday, July 29, 2005

We interrupt this discussion...

to bring you more cuteness. Regardless of anything else, every day I realize how truly lucky I am to have such cool little kids. TWO PEOPLE ALWAYS smile at me everyday. And kiss me with their forehead. (I don't get it-WHY on earth does she think her FOREHEAD is a kiss???)

But I LIKE the fact that I'm excited to see them at the end of the day. Tired, but sometimes, just sometimes.....shhh......

I'm happy.


A GREAT point made

I didn't mean don't POST, I meant post with your name! No need to be anonymous! (I've noticed that I wasn't entirely clear with that statement! Sorry!)

I DON'T like the intolerance I see on some blogs-if I'm wrong, then I will admit it. I still have my opinions on the subject, but PLEASE read the comment Anon left on the previous post regarding charities in the Third World. I will be checking some of the links later, because it is MY responsibility to be informed on BOTH sides.

Thank you Anon for providing a well thought and intelligent rebuttal, as opposed to the various versions of "stupidhead!" So PLEASE read. And again Anon, I wasn't saying go away! But leave your name!!!


Good to see you are open to hearing the other side…well, at least reading it and summarily disregarding it. What is the magic of the blog-o-sphere without diverse perspectives? Ah yes, the thought police system that we already have channeled to us by one extreme wing or the other.Your point of the aid being contingent upon conversion is well taken. In fact, I couldn't agree more. However, your skepticism is not necessarily grounded in the realities of the aforementioned NGOs. In fact, only 2 of the ones mentioned actually do any degree of proselytizing (and it is limited). Most try to mix traditional culture with the best practices of international development strategies. For example, where young females are sold to husbands on their 12th birthday, some groups are paying the father the same dowry and instead sending the child to a boarding school. With time and gender training, this practice will change, but for the transition period, it is an adequate compromise. I know of one Christian NGO that preaches abstinence while equally teaching condom use and STD prevention.You cannot enter into another cultural and force your beliefs/systems upon them and you cannot expect a culture to instantly throw their customs out the window and embrace yours. Right or wrong in our western eyes, those practices have existed for centuries and drastic changes will be met with drastic resistance. There is a fine line of diplomacy that even NGOs have to toe up to. I would recommend that people research NGOs before cutting a check…you have to pick ones that are in alignment with your beliefs, goals and perspectives. There are very liberal ones and very conservative ones. However, for every fly-by-night charlatan org with the best of intentions and the lowest of accountability standards, there are many accredited and well-respected organizations that have proven time and again that they truly have innovative ideas to create sustainable change.As with anything, and especially situations where your hard-earned money is on the line, do your research first and avoid making vast generalizations sanctifying or damning an entire category. It is wrong to assume that all are good or that all are evil.Good places to research:,, www.globalgiving.comAnd for alternative news sources...I would recommend www.oneworld.netAnd that is all from the "other side", per your request, I shan't post again.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

New Dad Type people....

MUST MUST MUST read this post, "Baby Bucks" on Waiter Rants.

Always a great recommended read his blog is, but this post in particular illustrates why Waiter has SUCH a following. It's poignent and touching, and a must for anyone with a new child, and a worrywort partner.

He always makes me cry this guy.....

Monday, July 25, 2005

'd like to feel bad, really, I would

but sometimes, I get really really mad. Currently, Niger is big on the "starving people to help" list. (you may have to register, but it's free). Lots of sad pictures of starving children to guilt me into sending money.

Why am I rather.....not pleased? Because look around in these countries. How many children are these women bearing? We aren't talking about 1 or 2 or 3 kids. Try 8 or 12. A woman with a 12 month old already pregnant with another, and trying to feed them. I become irate because the focus is ALWAYS on feed these poor starving children. Why is it NEVER, "PREVENT THESE PREGNANCIES".

In North America, a woman who keeps on having babies, and lives off the system is usually pointed at as a "leech" who should "know better". In Africa, and other countries where they NEVER have enough food, this is never the case. Have a culture where women have no say in their reproductive rights, and you have famine.

Yes, I'm making this rather simplistic, and likely minimizing it. But really. IF the birth rate was lessened or even just stabilized, do you really think these problems who continue on the level they do?

I won't even get into situations like Rwanda or the Congo.

I just get sick of ad'd for organizations like the "christian children's fund", which never seems to focus on the real issue. UNWANTED CHILDREN.

It crushes my heart to see a 3 year old who weighs as much as my 5 month old. But I also think it's better in the long run, to prevent fires instead of putting them out all the time.

Saturday, July 23, 2005

GUESS who peed in the toilet today!

For the first time EVER! With NO prodding!

Oh how I LOVE my little Honey bear!
*even when she spits an entire cup of chocolate milk down the front of her*

Funny story-I've been teaching Vivian to yell "Penis" whenever one of those morons with the loud cars goes by.

So far it's WORKING!

Now if she'd just stop muttering "for fuck sakes", we'd be good. The penis thing is the ONE concession to the evil side of Mommy.... I don't teach her to swear before someone posts "one of those" comments.....

Friday, July 22, 2005

Naming the baby

I LOVE LOVE LOVE this site... "Baby's named a Bad, Bad thing." A sample...

"And here's my unique name story. A sweet, wonderful, elderly couple we once shared a house with for a short time, Wade and Maxine, had only one daughter, so they decided to name her after *both* parents...
Yes, you guessed it, her name is Wadine"

"We aren't having kids for another year or two, but we like Kellyna Nychole, Taryn Mykah and Mykenzie Kathryn for girls.
This woman was indicted under the Flagrant Over-Use of the Letters K and Y Act of 1983"

Come on everyone, it's Forehead Slapping Time!
Hit yourself hard enough, and you'll be as smart as these people!

Vienna - Does anyone like it? I thought it was kinda pretty. The little girl is 4 who has this name. It's an Italian name....and I thought it was pretty. What do you guys think?
Among the responses:
" It's a pretty name. I thought of Italy right when I saw it."
" its pretty...I think of Vienna Italy - the place - right away"
"It's kinda pretty, but nms. It is very Italian sounding, though."
"Pretty name, thought of Switzerland instantly!!"
"Not bad, but I do automatically think ... of vienna sausages. Vienna is also a city in Austria, but I kind of like "place" names, so that works for me, I just can't get past the sausage reference." Finally! A winner! (In a way.)

Just check out the site....there's an entire section on those made up smushed together names that drive me NUTS!

That's yr Firday Funny!

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Can someone PLEASE explain

Why exersaucers cost more than a good pair of shoes?!?!? 149.99? I buy diapers! How in HELL can I afford that?!?!?
I'd get one at a yard sale, except I have no way to get it home while pushing a double stroller...


Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Go ask Daddy.

I was sitting on the bus the other morning when a father and his son got on to go to the mall. And it was rather apparent that he was not around his son all the time (or maybe I inferred that-who knows). They started talking, and I began thinking of all the ways my husband and I are different with our kids. He can PLAY, while I tend to teach and explain.

And this got me to thinking some more. I have friends who grew up with moms, and no Dads, the opposite of my situation. One friend in particular always became quite incensed with ANYONE stating any theories along the lines of "kids need a Mommy and a Daddy". Although she becomes angry at that because a: her Dad is an ass and b: her mom ROCKS, and is a GREAT model of single parenting, I started thinking of it from a different angle.

I don't think kids necessarily need a MAN and a WOMAN. I think what they really need is two perspectives.

When you only have one parent, you only get one side of the story, one answer. No one ever says-"I dunno, go ask your Dad." You get one answer, and generally speaking, no argument. And I began to wonder if this causes some of the supposed "deficiencies" that kids have coming from single parent homes....

just a thought...

Monday, July 18, 2005

Somedays I REALLY hate babies.

I had one of those days this weekend. Half of me feels horrible, the other half is always wondering how ANYONE can like a baby.

I'm so NOT a baby person....

Friday, July 15, 2005

If there was ever a reason for Sterilization

Idiot. TOTAL hysterectomy.

Baby drunk at birth; new mother charged
BARTLESVILLE, Okla. (AP) — A woman who police say had been drinking heavily before she gave birth was charged with child neglect after the baby was born intoxicated and diagnosed with fetal alcohol syndrome.
Melissa Tanner, 37, had a blood alcohol content of 0.29 per cent when she gave birth June 30, and her daughter's was 0.21 per cent, according to an affidavit by police. The legal limit for drivers in Oklahoma is 0.08 per cent.
Hospital staff had to use an oxygen bag to help the baby start breathing and gave her medication to counteract any narcotics, according to the affidavit.
Tanner allegedly told police she and another person had consumed a case of beer and that she regularly drank during her pregnancy.
She was jailed on $30,000 (all figures U.S.) bail. At a court appearance this week, Tanner was advised of her rights and ordered to return to court Aug. 5. She has not yet filed an application for an lawyer or entered a plea, the court clerk's office said.
Sheriff's investigator James Wynn said the baby has fetal alcohol syndrome and has been placed in a foster home with a caretaker experienced in dealing with addicted infants.
The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention lists the syndrome as the leading preventable cause of mental retardation and physical deformity. The severity of disability in this case won't be known until the baby is older.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Advice requested!

For once! I usually don't always ask for advice.

My lovely little monster Vivian turns two next month, and I kinda need the crib for Gigantor. Add to that the fact that she has been making eyes at big kid beds...It's time for the change. I plan on purchasing a twin bed since the toddler beds are a scam.

Sooo...I want some advice on moving to a big kid bed.

As well, the two will need to share a room soon, likely when Vivian is 25 months and Rosalyn 6 months. Any suggestions for that? I KNOW it will suck at first...

Tuesday, July 12, 2005


I'm sick of being morose and sad (plus, the latest Six Feet Under episode has some ideas brewing that need to brew some more) so presenting....CUTENESS!

Friday, July 08, 2005

I'm gonna die aren't I.

So my mother died of breast cancer at 43 when I was 11. We've established that this event has had a large impact on many facets of my life, most of which I was prepared for, or at least able to read about. This newest piece-SOOOO not ready.

We had the "if I die" conversation a few weeks ago, and it sucked. Having to CLEARLY state who I want to raise my children, telling the Dorf that I WANT him to remarry if I die, explaining I want my ashes thrown into the wind of the jet stream (so I can be everywhere), it was the HARDEST conversation I've ever had.

But I've begun to notice that I tell him things prefaced with "When I'm gone..." NOT if, not just in case, but WHEN. I'm convinced I'm going to die on them. And I'm so matter of fact about it, like I'm waiting for a bus.

I was aware that I'd likely be worried until the kids passed the age I was when she died, and I passed the age she was when she died. I knew that. I didn't think I'd become consumed by the idea that I won't see them grow up.

Half of me wants to believe I'm just overly nutty about it. The other half of me thinks that I'm seeing some part of my future, as I've had these feelings before about other things.

I'm so scared I'm gonna die on them. I hated losing my mother, despite the fact that I KNOW we would have had knock down, drag out, running away fights. I wasn't exactly the little lady my mother wanted. But I can't imagine my kids having to have their first periods without a mother, having Mother's Day without someone to hug, just not having a woman around who understands why 10 pairs of shoes is CRITICAL. Just having a woman around, I missed. I've only just started to begin to really embrace the girly parts of me, but they're hard to find, and I feel really uncomfortable being that girl.

I'm also scared because it's only due to having kids that I've opened my heart again to life, and you know what? It's like the smell thing since I quit smoking-there are more BAD smells than good in life. I cry all the time seeing the awful things in life. I was like this as a kid-FAR too much empathy, to the point of being paralyzed by it. I had LIKED the fact that my fences kept that at bay. I dropped those fences, and now I'm scared to death.

I'm so afraid I'm going to die on them. I see myself in them, and it's hurting me...

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Change please.

Shasta's father is right. Something needs to change.

What we know to a large degree is that sexual offenders do NOT get rehabilitated. They do not get better. Just like I never stop wanting ice cream, despite a diet and lactose intolerance, they CANNOT change the wiring in their brain. I don't think someone wakes up wanting to torture rape and kill kids. Something is wrong with their brains.

Does that mean they should be free to walk the streets, especially after violent sexual assaults against children? NO. I personally am a FIRM believer in chemical castration. We cannot talk these urges from these people, and jail time does not make a crazy person sane. REMOVE the beginning of the urge. Or kill them. We do not know how to fix this, and yet we keep letting these people out into the streets. Think of the times you hear about this. Then think of all the times you don't.

As someone who lived through sexual abuse as a child, I can't handle the thought that someone might also do this to my child, or kill me for my child. A stand needs to be taken. Even when the offenders ask for help, they get nothing.

Why is it our courts are so hot and horny to prosecute Martha Stewart, and yet people like Duncan are let out on bail without a second thought.

I'm so sick of these people breaking lives.....

and everyone in London. You're in my thoughts.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

When have you paid?

For those of you NOT living in Canada, this is Karla Homolka. Years ago, she helped/was coerced into helping her husband, Paul Bernardo, torture, rape and kill 3 teenagers, one of whom was her 15 year old sister raped and killed on Christmas Eve. She got out of jail yesterday, prompting a LOT of speculation, threats, and general discussion.

She was given a 12 year sentance for manslaughter based on evidence she provided that helped put Bernardo in jail for life. Some people became upset when it emerged that she MAY have been a willing participant, not the battered, scared wife originally portrayed. They think she got off light....

I too want this woman to suffer. Regardless of anything else, she could have stopped what happened, and she didn't. But jail was easy. She was protected from the true harm she did. Now, she has to attempt to reintergrate into society, and live with herself. No one will want her around. Her family doesn't want her. This is punishment in my eyes.

I overheard someone on the bus saying it was wrong that Karla wants to tell her story, saying she shouldn't profit from her crime. And she shouldn't. But I don't think we've ever heard her side of the story, if there is one. The only way to prevent things is to learn WHY they happened. We need her story.

I also understand the rage people feel, thinking she should be in jail longer. But I don't think she would have done what she did without Bernardo's urging, and she helped make sure he ROTS in jail. What's that worth? She's also been given a sentence by the courts, and she served it. For good or bad, THAT is our justice system, which is NOT based on revenge. Yes, if it was my child, I would want REVENGE. But that's why the victim does not dictate the punishment. We need to follow what the court has said, even if it's distasteful.

Will she ever be truly heard? No. Will anyone ever think she's served penance? No, regardless of what she does or doesn't do or say.

This is punishment. Being sentenced to a life where no one hears you, wants you or needs you.

I welcome comments, as I'm interested to hear viewpoints NOT simply boiling down to primal revenge (which I do feel, don't get me wrong-I remember being a kid and wondering about garbage bags on the side of the 401...)

Monday, July 04, 2005

How to make your child VERY VERY happy.

Vivian knew what it was before he even had it out of the bag. She likes it!
For those of you in Canada, crappy tire has these for 10.00 this week. Best ten bucks we've ever spent, once we saw the look of pure JOY on her face.

It's so bloody cool to make her so happy!

...that's what happened to Tom Cruise!...

he hung out at this monastery too much!

TANACU, Romania—Just weeks after 23-year-old Maricica Irina Cornici moved in January to an isolated hilltop monastery here with her brother, she began giggling during mass.
By April, she had descended into madness and doctors at a local psychiatric hospital diagnosed her condition as schizophrenia.
But for the monastery's two dozen nuns and its eccentric priest, it was not Cornici mocking and cursing them: It was Satan.
They chained her to a makeshift cross for three days, trying to cast him out. She died.
"You can't take the devil out of people with pills," the 29-year-old priest, Daniel Petre Corogeanu, told a Romanian television station during a four-hour interview taped just before he and the nuns were arrested last month.
The monastery has since been shut down by the Orthodox Church, Corogeanu defrocked and, along with four nuns, charged with murder and depriving a person of liberty. If convicted, each of the five could be sentenced to 25 years in prison.
But the death is more than simply a matter of misguided faith in the Romanian hinterland. It is a dark measure of the explosive growth that the Eastern Orthodox Church has experienced in the 15 years since the Soviet bloc disappeared; growth that has outstripped the speed at which the church can train clergy.
Corogeanu failed to get into a university in Bucharest to study sports or law, so he enrolled in religious studies at the theology department at the university in Iasi. A local bishop ordained him, despite his lack of experience, on the expectation that he would continue his studies part-time.
The church now concedes that such laxity has led to irregularities and has vowed to tighten rules for entering monasteries.
Corogeanu's services at the monastery attracted a fanatical following from the villages nearby. He also developed a flair for casting out demons.
Church leaders say the Orthodox Church has no specific exorcism rites beyond the reading of prayers. But the combination of a superstitious rural population and a wilful clergy has led to the spread of elaborate practices in recent years.
Corogeanu still has strong support in Tanacu, where many people contend Cornici was indeed possessed.

Sunday, July 03, 2005

Kool aid & Flowers

I'm in a good mood today. It's ABSOFREAKINGORGEAUS outside, just came back from a walk with the girls, who are now both sleeping, when I realized I'm totally digging 2 things right now.
  1. In the ditches and swampy land around my house, there are IRIS'. WILD ones. How pretty!
  2. Kool-Aid fricken ROCKS! Mmmmm...grape. I was never allowed to have it as a little kid...

Happy July long weekend, Sunday's like these remind me of when I was a child, and happy.

Vivian Dianne Sara
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