Because I could not stop for death....

I got knocked up instead...

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Cutting the cord?

Ok girls.....I've been thinking about a tubal ligation since the pill is making me REALLY fat, and no other options work for me.......can I have some feedback on experiences? I can read all the studies-I want some real opinons. What are the effects on sex drive? Your period? Your moods? Weight gain, or loss?

I'm trying to decide what I want to do. We know that even if we want more kids, we'd rather adopt older children, if or when we're in a position to do so. So that's not at issue. I'm concerned about the effects on me....

guys-feel free to add your views if your partner had one...I'm curious as to what the outward effects are...

Thursday, November 24, 2005

When is it over?

How do you know when your relationship is dead?

Is it when you feel only dread at the thought of going home to him?

Is it when every conversation becomes at least a little fight?

Is it when not even sex makes anything better, not even a little bit?

Or, is it when you realize that those feelings you once had in your chest no longer reside there, and haven't been replaced with anything but sadness and a vague echo?

We keep trying, and trying and trying, but I can't help feeling that we're working against the tide. We don't make any progress. We keep assuming that something will change and make it better. Changes occur. Nothing gets better. We're both constantly resentful of eachother, and despite understanding and dealing with the viewpoints of the other, we stay mad.

This feeling I have, it''s not good. I'm not angry, he hasn't cheated or broken our vows. I just, I don't think I love him like that anymore. And I don't mean that hungry, lustful love, I mean that quiet together love. I don't have that anymore. And it's sad and boring and ultimately, I think it hurts more. Because it feels like I should be able to fix it. And I can't. Anymore we've drifted apart, and I don't think either one of us wants to meet the other halfway.

And it's just quietly sad. Knowing that eventually, we will leave eachother.

I thought we were soulmates once.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

C Sections are NOT your friend

So this article regarding the dramatic rise in C-Sections was on CNN. I have always contended that there are too many C-Sections done, and in thinking about it, I'm beginning to believe I have the answer.

Women think it's easier.

Now, rationally that makes no sense, at least to me it doesn't. Major surgery prior to having to take care of a newborn does NOT sound easier.

But listen to the arguments some women given. You can scheduale it. Maybe I won't have bladder issues. My doctor is out of town. They won't let me.

The fact that many hospitals are now BANNING VBAC's drives me insane. The rate of uterine rupture during VBAC is 1%, so I would say it's about par with natural problems anyway. To prevent all women from VBAC because of this, because they might get sued (anyone who sues over this needs a swift kick anyway, but I digress)

BIRTH IS NOT A MEDICAL PROCEDURE. Is this why the US is going to hell in a handbasket? Because everyone, right up to birthing mothers, wants the "easy" way out? The body knows what to do. Sometimes, you need help, which thankfully, can be given. But why do people look at birth in the same light as getting their appendix removed?

Because we have no female support systems, no groups of older, wiser women to calm us and tell us about our bodies, and what they can do. We read medical journals, and yet refuse to listen to our bodies. Your body is MADE to create, support, birth and feed a child. So why will you not trust it?

I get so mad at this I swear...

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Russell Yates: Jail Time

I HEARTILY agree with this article.

i have suffered from PPD. I have wanted to kill my children. I did not because I had support. I do also know that if I have another child, I will likely cross that line because it will be just that bad.

Her "husband" admitted he never helped Andrea change a diaper. He wanted a large family. He apparently ignored all signs that something was wrong. She should not go to jail alone.

If he knew a friend was going to rob a bank for example, he would have a responsibility to tell the police. So why not help his wife? And anything I have seen or heard has NOT shown him as a caring husband-quite the contrary. He seems like he does not care in the least.

You wife was SICK you bastard. And you did nothing. She now lives in her own private hell, while you think about possibly taking another wife.


Tuesday, November 08, 2005

When to go?

So Rosalyn has this nasty, scaly rash on her ear, and raised bumps on her face. It's itchy, and looks rather gross, but doesn't seem to bother her. She isn't running a fever, not acting abnormal, eating and sleeping like always, and smiley.

So why do I, on some level, feel like a bad Mommy?

I know I should probably take her to the doctor. But I'm tired, coming down with a cold, and super busy. I can try and go to emerg, which is an automatic 4 hour wait since it's not life threatening. I could try a walk in, but they're only open after she usually goes to sleep. And I really don't think it's that bad. I think it's just eczema, and she's been blessed with her father's bad skin.

But I still feel this strange periodic blip on the momdar....

Vivian Dianne Sara
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