Oh look, breastfeeding Nazi's!

So I'm reading one of my favorite blogs, Conversations about Famous People, and what do I find in the comment section of an entry joking about how Britney Spears is having trouble breastfeeding because of her implants: A divisive, bitchy argument about "breast is best"

Among my favorite comments, (not a direct quote):

"I'll enjoy the +5 point higher IQ my daughter has from breastfeeding."

Nice. Real nice. And the "discussion" basically surrounds this one woman who stated that formula was just as good, and how she is terribly wrong, and horrible, and just bad. She gets NAILED to the wall. On a gossip blog. Now, this woman didn't sit there saying it's a replacement, and better, and you should use formula instead. She stated it's just as good (which is debatable-I don't even believe that myself) and easier, and less icky diapers.

Now, none of those things are reasons to not breastfeed. But because this woman did not detail her personal reasoning behind not breastfeeding, she was basically crucified. And I found that really ironic. I particularily loved the holier than thou attitude that came thru in all the "pro-breast" posts.

Personally, I find bottle feeding easier myself. I have large breasts, and I'm not little. Finding a position to breastfeed in was well nigh impossible. Would I suggest formula as a first option. NO. Would I make someone feel like crap because they state formula is near to breastmilk? NO.

So why is it cool or in vogue to denigrate people for stating their opinions about things? I know it's an uphill battle reintroducing breastfeeding into our culture which, quite frankly, is NOT suited for breastfeeding mothers but really-acting like a bunch of 13 year old girls, does that make anything better, or easier?

For those women like me who feel guilty because we didn't/couldn't-are you helping? Do these people realize that they are alienating those they could "convert" in order to get a pat on the back from their cronies? WHY OH WHY can't we act like adults for once, and use knowledge to change things, instead of intimidation and plain old shittiness?

I smoked while pregnant with Vivian, and I am ashamed, and embaressed that I could not quit. I didn't breastfeed due to a bleed, depression, and just plain old alone and unable to do it all. Is she smart? HELL YEAH. No matter where we are, people comment on her skills, her vocabulary, and my favorite, which recently came from a beautiful older lady, who had already raised her children long ago...." Well look! I've never SEEN such a happy child!"

As a few of you commented on my previous post, you would NOT have bonded to your children the same if you had of forced yourself to continue breastfeeding. Vivian is everything anyone could want in a child, and the only thing she received was two days worth of early milk (the name slips my mind right now). She is 25 months, and she speaks in full sentances, using possessives and proper nouns, can run, almost jump, is beginning to potty train and sleeps in a bed. So I guess that extra 5 points for IQ would have really made a difference.

You know what the difference is? It's the time I take to educate my child. It's the time I spend playing on the floor with her. It's the time I take explaining what spiders do. It's the proper english I speak to and with her. It's the respect I give her as a person. THAT is what makes her one of the happiest, smartest kids you'll meet. Am I focused on her playing a concerto by 6? No. Do I think she will one day be a leader of something, hopefully NOT a terrorist group? YES.

And at it's heart, this is what frustrates me about the breastfeeding debate. I spend a TON of time thinking about and analyzing my parenting skills. I read up on theories, I read psych texts. I think before I do anything with her, because I do not believe in parenting by instinct. Do these women, who preach endlessly spend that much time really thinking about who they want their children to be in the future, and what they can do to ensure that? Or do they blindly follow what others have taught them in the past, regardless of usefulness, because they think the breastmilk does it all. Do I have any right to feel superior to these women, as they seem to feel superior to me for not breastfeeding?

To be continued as "The Parenting Contest"